It Hardly Matters

Wednesday, December 20, 2006

Ten Thoughts While Swiffer WetJet®-ting my Kitchen Floor the Day After my Holiday Party

1. “This sucks balls.”

2. “I’m waiting 45 minutes to text him back so he’ll know that I’m busy and am not about to rearrange my schedule for his nonsense.”

3. “When I’m done I’m going to watch that 'Dick in a Box' video again. Shit is hilarious!”

4. “I wonder if my grandmother already has a Swiffer WetJet®.”

5. “I don’t remember serving figs.”

6. “If he doesn’t text me back immediately after I text him back, I’m never texting him again.”

7. “OK, who left their Santa condom under the oven?”

8. “I don’t remember puking, but I’m not ruling myself out.”

9. “‘Step One: Cut a hole in a box.’ Baa-haa! Genius.”

10. “I love my Swiffer WetJet®.”

Happy holidays, everyone!


  • I never liked Justin Timberlake until this past Saturday, now I love him.

    By Blogger Commuter, at 9:45 PM  

  • Zubin and I are cracking up at this right now. We were just yesterday enlightened as to the wonders of the Dick in a Box, and have been singing it repeatedly since.

    By Anonymous saintpeg, at 2:42 AM  

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