It Hardly Matters

Wednesday, December 07, 2005

Disco Casual

It's that time of year again: holiday party time. To kick off the season, I must head to some anonymous, oversized club (uptown! help!) after work tomorrow for the corporate boozefest. If it's anything like last year's, I will have had 2 gin martinis and 5 cigarettes by 6:45. I'm dragging Massey and B with me; we hope to claim a booth and drink our faces off whilst making fun of guys in Dockers. My main concern about the whole thing is typical girl: what I am wearing.

The email invite for this event contains the following: "appropriate professional attire requested." I guess that means no glittery half shirts. (Note to self: resist temptation to wear fishnets and fuck-me heels to work.) Professional party attire? I'm sorry, but that's an oxymoron. What's most stressing me is that our office is casual, meaning we can wear (nice, pressed) jeans and (clean, fashion) sneakers whenever we want (the Employee Handbook states, "If you would wear it to move, don't wear it to the office." Uh, okay. Thanks.). So "professional attire" here is, well, not suits and stuff. Am I supposed to bust out a twinset and some nude hose for this party?

When I think "holiday party," I think unexpected sparkle, higher-than-normal heels, extra eye makeup. But all of this is out of the question as per management. The rest of the women in my department will probably kick it up a notch and wear their mauve ill-fitting Old Navy sweaters instead of their off-white ill-fitting Old Navy sweaters. Gasp! I think for me it will be a skirt, boots, a demurely-festive top, maybe a cute blazer. Disco casual. I'll save the fuck-me heels for the next baby shower.

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